I have a problem.

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My name is Lou. And I am a shopaholic. Seriously. I don’t take this lightly when I post about this problem. I have gotten in a terrible place of ordering something from Amazon Prime everyday. I get a rush off the Order Placed page, tracking the package everyday, and I get another rush when it arrives. It doesn’t last long enough, once it arrives, so I do it again. And again. I am buying things I can justify, but still spending money that I don’t need to spend. For me, it is a true addiction.

If you have ever seen my craft room you know I have this problem. My sister walked in one time and said something like, “You know they have a show for this. It’s called Hoarders.” Ha, ha I said and we laughed but I knew it was true. It hit way too close to home and god bless a sister for putting those words out there. I have bought thousands of dollars in craft supplies that I have only touched when I was placing them in their location and again when they were moved.

This has come to light recently because we packed up our house of 17 years this last spring. We gave things away, threw them away or put them in two storage units. We moved to an 800 ft2 apartment while we are building a new house. The cleaning out process took months. Like 5 months. My children have left home and I had baby clothes and baby furniture in my attic! As we were cleaning out my husband said, “Do you realize we have paid for some of this stuff three times: once when we bought it, twice to store it all these years and finally, we are paying for a roll off dumpster (3 in total!) to throw it away. Have I mentioned I have a problem?

Thank God I am not addicted to something worse, something that will kill me. But this is not good. I get bored so easily and I shop online. I wander the stores day after day looking at material items I don’t need. I love to get on Amazon and look at gadgets. Or technology. Or books. Or craft supplies. I made myself stop buying yarn a few years ago because I wasn’t even KNITTING anymore. It’s really ridiculous and trivial. I love a deal and feel justified when I find one.

And all this it bothers me. That’s why I am sharing it. I don’t want to be THAT. I don’t want to buy things I don’t need. I don’t want to waste money. I see all the consumerism in the world and it bothers me. I see other people waste money and think of all the good we could be doing in the world with that money. All the people we could be helping. But don’t they say if something bothers you repeatedly it’s because it’s usually your own issue you are looking at? Or one of my favorite scriptures about remove the log from your own eye before you comment on the splinter in theirs? I am struggling.

I saw a quote recently on Pinterest that hit home for me:

He who buys what he does not need steals from himself. 

I need to have that tattooed to my arm. Seriously. Somewhere that I can’t get away from. Somewhere that will stare me in the face so that I don’t spend my days shopping. It doesn’t help either that I am not working right now and I’m bored. I sit in this little apartment, that I mentioned above, and count day the minutes until our new house is done being built. But then I will have to shop. For new things. New furniture. New bedding. New towels. New organization. And that scares me.

It scares me because I will have to jump into the world of consumerism. And although some of you may think I am saying all of this sarcastically, or tongue in cheek, please know I am very serious here. If I wasn’t married to a finance guy I would be in real trouble. And isn’t that part of our society today? On the new Netflix hit, Ozark, Jason Bateman states, ‘Half of all American adults have more credit card debts than savings. 25% of us have no savings at all.’ I looked it up. It’s true. So I’m not alone in this ballgame. And thank god for Rusty.

I am going to focus my energy on reading and crafting and STAYING OFF of Amazon. And West Elm. and Restoration Hardware. And if I can get my heart and mind in the right place and meditate on my new mantra from above then I can make a change. And I will. And I want you all to hold me accountable. I need it.

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2 thoughts on “I have a problem.

  1. This one for sure hit a nerve. And got me thinking enough that my morning started early with thoughts about the addictions and excesses in my life. Thanks, Lou. Wishing you the best as you get a new start.

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